Living in Freedom

We are compelled to make sense of our world, our lives, our experiences, and our pain. We have to, we must, because it is the first step towards meaning. Those that become stuck or immobile and cannot make sense of their pain or experiences will remain disconnected from the unwanted feelings and behaviors they cannot avoid. Where our existence feels hopeless, and we find ourselves deep in the throes of avoidance or addiction or some other even worse reality. This disintegration will likely lead us into living much of our time in the past or the future but rarely in the present. Yet, it is the present for which we were created, always longing to experience love and acceptance, here…now…The path is in knowing, in the truth. The more we know ourselves, the closer we come to meaning that makes our existence make sense. The further we live from the truth, the more disconnected and dissociated we are likely to become. It isn’t that we need to make sense of every suffering we experience, that is an impossible pursuit. It is that suffering becomes more bearable when it is enveloped by the meaning and purpose of our lives. It is in the journey of investigation and exploration, that we learn to reshape narratives, challenge the lies we’ve been told or the ones we tell ourselves, and change the old ways of thinking that at one time protected us but have now come to hurt. These old ways prevent us from becoming who we are meant to become. They stand in the ways of freedom and they create distrust in the person we see in the mirror. Every word and thought spoken in animosity, every action that violates our conscience, every lie left unchallenged leaves us fractured in our relationship to ourselves. The most difficult relationship to repair, to reconcile is the relationship we have with the person within. However, this is the place from which we are set free. The futures that we cannot imagine yet fear like a faceless monster begin to fade. The past will no longer plague us as evidence that we are destined to end up alone. The present will become full of life and beauty to enjoy and it is here that we find our meaning. We will experience transformation. It is from this place we will hear “Well Done!” It is from this place we will absorb, “You are my SON, whom I LOVE, and in YOU I am well pleased!” This is healing, this is freedom.

-Kevin Shelby, Ph.D, LPC-MHSP